Part of a continuing series related to ideas in my book, “Sustainable You/8 First Steps to Lasting Change in Business and in Life.”

I spent a swath of my life convinced I was doomed to a life of lonely fatitude in which I might as well eat to wretched excess whenever I wanted to, because it was as close to fellowship and love that I was going to get.

Today, I am 12-plus years into a supportive marriage, overflowing with love for each other and our gift of a boy, Joey.

I mention these opposite poles as a witness to the power to change, but also because I see clearly, now, that the certainty I held for my place in life was a major influence in keeping me there.

My question for you is, “What attitude, outlook, or certainty in your life is holding you back?”

I want to put a full stop on that.

Take a breath, please, and before you continue reading, form an answer.

I’ll wait.

OK, let’s continue.

What makes me think there is such a force in your life? Mostly, it’s my conviction that I’m just another bozo on the bus — as typical, in my own unique way, as everyone else. But it’s also the belief that although we all live within limits, some of them are of our own devising, intentionally or not.

Some are real. My favorite example is gravity; unaided, we ain’t flying. But “I can’t” covers a lot more ground than physical law.

I did not go from forlorn and fat to where I am today — joyous, grateful, more optimistic — by just deciding to. Later in this series of posts, I’ll address that, but for now, I ask you just to identify what conditions in your life are immutable, only because you think they are.