I didn't know Bart Hoebel well; anyone who did might be offended to hear that I think I knew him at all. But I did spend a weekend with him, and about 50 others, a few years ago, and he left an impression.

Hoebel, a psychologist at Princeton who led ground-breaking research on addiction to sugar, died last week at age 67.

My first impression was opposite him in the lunch room as I told him about my book. When I said it was a memoir, which it certainly is in part, he asked, just the slightest bit frostily, "So what happened to you?"

I understand the weariness with memoir in general, and think I understand the aversion some researchers have when they hear that my arguments are based on experience rather than data. I don't apologize for that; I believe I offer a useful counterpoint to cold, hard data, and I'm happy to have others make their own judgment. Over lunch that day, I inferred that Bart's judgment was on the lesser side of approval.

No matter; it didn't mean I couldn't admire him and appreciate what he accomplished.

My other anecdote comes from the ferry trip back from Bainbridge Island to Seattle at the end of the conference. Most people had left on earlier boats, but the sparse passenger count of an early Monday afternoon made it easy to find each other, and we gathered aft. Gene Jack Wang, Ashley Gearhardt, Elliott Blass, and others, just hangin' out, continuing conversations begun that weekend.

Hoebel, who'd used the trip from New Jersey as an opportunity to also see his grandchildren, appeared for a moment with his family until his daughter (I think; I was just an observer) realized it was shop talk and moved away. After an instant in which the choice became clear, Hoebel pivoted and went with them. 

It's a trifle, I suppose, but for some reason, it has stayed in my memory as an illustration of a condition that ought to be obvious but isn't: No matter how accomplished someone is, she or he needs to have priorities and family needs to be one of them. My glimpse into Bart Hoebel's life made me think he had them.

Come to think of it, I had occasion after the conference to call Hoebel’s lab at Princeton, hoping to have some underling check my post about his presentation, and it was Hoebel who answered the phone. He was way up there in his field, but also without airs.